Garry Winogrand's Infamous "Honda" Joke
As told by Garry Winogrand at a photo workshop in New York in August, 1976. Warning: This Joke Is A) Politically Incorrect and B) Gross. Read responsibly.

By Garry Winogrand, transcribed by Mason Resnick, who accepts no responsibility for the following...

So there was this guy, and he farted a lot. Suddenly, every time he farted, he went, "HONDA!"

Well you can just imagine. He'd be in a restaurant, some social function, at work, and there he'd be saying "Hi, howare ya? FFFFFFFFFFFFT--HONDA!" without any warning.

This was embarassing to him and his friends. Days went by and this would happen all the time, and now his friends didn't want to be seen with him.

So he goes to his doctor, "hey doc, every time I fart, I go "HONDA!". Can you help? So the doctor checks him out, gives him a complete physical. Can't find anything wrong. He goes to specialist after specialist, trying to get himself cured, but nobody can figure out what the problem is.

A few weeks go by and now he only has one friend left in the whole world, and even he is getting sick of it. "Hey pal" his friend said, "I'm your last friend on earth, everybody's deserted you. You've got a serious problem here, but I may have a solution."

So he gives him the name of an acupuncturist, an old Chinese guy. "This guy is brilliant. If he can't cure you, nobody can. Just do exactly what he tells you, even if it seems a little wierd."

So our friend says "Gee thanks, I'll give him a FFFFFFFFFFFFT-HONDA! call today."

So this guy goes to the acupuncturist, who is really ancient, looks like he's 200 years old. Very wise. And the acupuncturist checks him out, gives him a complete physical. He looks at him and says, "Go See Dentist."

"Huh?"

"Go see dentist!"

So he thinks, well, this guy must know what he's talking about but I have no idea. He goes to the dentist, who checks him out and sure enough, finds an abscess tooth. He pulls the tooth and as you could imagine the guy is real nervous and he's so nervous that, just after the tooth is yanked, he farts. And then, nothing.

No HONDA! He couldn't believe it--he's cured!

He jumps out of the dentist's chair. He farts again--again no more HONDA!

So he runs back to the acupuncturist and he's thrilled. "Thank you, thank you," he said. "But tell me, how did you know that the abscess tooth is what was making me go HONDA every time I farted?

The old man looked at him and said, "old Chinese saying...abscess makes the fart go HONDA!"

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